Friday, June 2, 2017

June 2, 2017 - The Cloud of Depression

The cloud of depression is shadowing my horizon at this moment. There is no reason for it, but it is there. I completely get that commercial that has that little cloud following the person through their everyday routine. I am feeling the shadow of it creeping in on me. Again, there is no reason for it. None whatsoever!!

Courtesy of All things Lena: Mind and Soul

For example, I have plans to hang out the the husband and daughter at Hill tonight. We are going to the movies tonight. My daughter and I are going to the gym in the morning and then shopping. I want to do these things, but I really would rather crawl into my bed after work and shut out the world right now. Seriously, why am I going through this?!

I just feel so emotional and reclusive right now. No reason whatsoever to feel this way.

I think starting tomorrow I will lay off the intermittent fasting. Maybe my insulin levels are dropping too low right now. I think I will get back to the basics of keto and incorporate 3 meals a day once again. Something needs to change. I have not loss any weight in 3 weeks. This is when I began the fasting protocol. I know my body will need to readjust and it does take time but if the readjusting is causing me to become depressed I don't like it. I want to feel normal and happy again. Plus the feeling of depression is causing me to want to eat lots of dark chocolate for the dopamine affect.

So yes, I will go back to the basics and let my brain chemistry work itself out. I don't want to not want to do things like I am feeling right now. I have a trip in a week and a half to visit family. I don't want to be in a funk and have to fake smile my way through things. For one thing, my sister will see right through me.

I think these evening I will eat a good meal and try to enjoy my surroundings even though there will be a lot of people around. I am going to have fun. I am going to tell my anxiety to take a hike.

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