Friday, June 9, 2017

June 9, 2017 - Feeling better mentally and physically

Since my last post the cloud of depression is a little less. I have been trying to go outside each day and soak up some good old sunshine. I really think that makes a lot of difference. I have been keeping my carbs down to 20 grams per day. No chocolate or sweets this week.

I have not done the intermittent fasting this week either. I haven't eaten breakfast but I am having keto coffee each morning. Some say that the added fat in the coffee will not affect your fasting but it is nearly 500 calories. With that amount of calories in the morning I do not consider myself still fasting.

I am sticking to only 3 meals per day with no snacking in between. I am normally done with my last meal around 5:45 each evening and do not have my coffee until around 5:45 the next morning. So a good 12 hours of fasting. Once I am back from our vacation on the 21st I will go back to 16:8 fasting protocol. This time I will be only drinking water and coffee with no stevia. I want to see if the stevia really spikes the insulin. There are so many different views with this. Dr. Fung says any sweetener, natural or artificial, spikes insulin while Dr. Berg says it has no glycemic index results. But from Dr. Fung's book, The Obesity Code, he states that insulin release and the glycemic index are different. Because the glycemic index only registers the glucose spike from the food or item you consume. So it does not register the insulin that is being released so if stevia causes insulin to release then it isn't keeping my insulin down as low as I want during my fast.

No stevia in my coffee will be sooooo hard. I might just forgo coffee during these times and have it more as a reward after my meals. Once I have done the 16:8 protocol for about 2 weeks I will begin 20:4 fasting protocol. I will stick with this one for a couple of weeks as well and eventually I will work myself up to a 72 hour fast. I am thinking by the end of August I will be able to do this.

Since I have been eating lunch each day, I wanted to share with you my version of a chicken sandwich. Summer is a time where I do not care for a hot meal for lunch. I prefer sandwiches and salads. But I do tend to tire of salads pretty quickly especially if I am eating them for dinner as well. The other morning I really wanted a quick lunch prep and saw that I had some cloud bread in my fridge. I had lunch meat from the deli and thought why not try a cloud bread chicken sandwich. If I didn't like it I just would not eat it. I didn't want to put mayo of the cloud bread. I think the idea of mayo and cream cheese is not a good combo. I had some Laughing Cow Spicy Pepper Jack cheese wedges and decided to use them as my spread. Man o' Man is that a great combo!! For the past 3 days this has been my lunch. Just one of these is hard to finish. Very filling and satisfying for hours after eating. This is the cloud bread recipe I use if you are interested. I bake mine in a 6 bun baking pan that makes my cloud bread more formed and bun like.

Monday, June 5, 2017

June 5, 2017 - Pushing through the lurking depression

This past weekend I pushed through my lurking depressive feelings and went to the movies as well as a free concert on Hill AFB. We went and watched a movie once that was over we made it back on base in time to listen to the Band Perry do a set. My anxiety was not great, but I pushed through it and my husband and I walked down to the concert area and listened for a bit.

Saturday the daughter and I did some retail therapy. I really cannot call it therapy because I really do not like trying on clothes in department stores. I pushed through some disappointed looks but did end up in a size smaller in shorts. There is a little muffin top but the size 14's would have required a belt. So I will take the muffin top for now. I am also at that in between stage on tops sizes. A large fits but looser than I would like, but the medium fits too tight. These are good things and I will accept that I am losing some inches. I am just not there yet to say I am in a medium top or a size 12 pant. But I am very close.

I decided to stop the intermittent fasting for these next 10 days. I will be drinking a couple of cups of keto coffee each morning and having a really fatty filled lunch. Today's lunch consist of an avocado, boiled egg, couple slices of cloud bread, and buttered beef broth. Dinner will be sausages and broccoli. Hopefully I do not need any snacks to get me through the day.

I had planned on waking up early and doing a workout, but since I hate early morning workouts I easily talked myself out of it. I will be cutting the grass this evening so some activity will be done. I will attempt an early morning workout again tomorrow. Hopefully I push myself out of bed and do it.

Friday, June 2, 2017

June 2, 2017 - The Cloud of Depression

The cloud of depression is shadowing my horizon at this moment. There is no reason for it, but it is there. I completely get that commercial that has that little cloud following the person through their everyday routine. I am feeling the shadow of it creeping in on me. Again, there is no reason for it. None whatsoever!!

Courtesy of All things Lena: Mind and Soul

For example, I have plans to hang out the the husband and daughter at Hill tonight. We are going to the movies tonight. My daughter and I are going to the gym in the morning and then shopping. I want to do these things, but I really would rather crawl into my bed after work and shut out the world right now. Seriously, why am I going through this?!

I just feel so emotional and reclusive right now. No reason whatsoever to feel this way.

I think starting tomorrow I will lay off the intermittent fasting. Maybe my insulin levels are dropping too low right now. I think I will get back to the basics of keto and incorporate 3 meals a day once again. Something needs to change. I have not loss any weight in 3 weeks. This is when I began the fasting protocol. I know my body will need to readjust and it does take time but if the readjusting is causing me to become depressed I don't like it. I want to feel normal and happy again. Plus the feeling of depression is causing me to want to eat lots of dark chocolate for the dopamine affect.

So yes, I will go back to the basics and let my brain chemistry work itself out. I don't want to not want to do things like I am feeling right now. I have a trip in a week and a half to visit family. I don't want to be in a funk and have to fake smile my way through things. For one thing, my sister will see right through me.

I think these evening I will eat a good meal and try to enjoy my surroundings even though there will be a lot of people around. I am going to have fun. I am going to tell my anxiety to take a hike.