Oh my it has been a tough week! I have stayed on plan and remained under the 1600 calories, but the temptations have been so tough. I know a lot of it is my emotions. We are short on money this month (as usual) and I am internally freaking out (as usual) and trying to stay strong for the husband. I keep telling myself that this will pass and we will get back to being sound in our finances. It will happen, but lord until it does I just want to dive into a bag of cookies like crazy!! The heat isn't helping either (or maybe it is)....we have to go into our bedroom by 6 pm to remain cool. This does keep me further from the kitchen and I don't like eating in my bed, but I am dying from the heat!! If you could truly melt fat by sweating I would be so skinny right now!!
So the summary is:
Monday I did no type of exercising. My knee was so sore from biking on Sunday and no matter how later it began it just didn't get any cooler to go out and practice biking in clipons. I did add in some mild walking as part of my exercise. I did go up and down the stairs a few times and walked a lot at work.
Tuesday I had to work at night so no true dinner. I filled myself up before going into work. It was so darn hot when I made it home that all I ate was a couple of chilled oranges. I did a lot of walking while working although all I wanted to do was stand in front of the vent that was blowing some nice cool air at me.
Thursday was a good day. I went and practiced with my clipons and did pretty good. I was starving when I went to bed but knew I was at my 1600 calories for the day and just went to bed hungry. I'm trying to lose weight which means some nights I will be hungry and I will just have to ignore it.
Total Calories consumed: 4676
Total Calories burned: -5571
This will be on everything today because I just need to vent and write my frustrations with life down.
I just can't ever get above water!! We begin to see a few good months where I'm not worried about a payment bouncing or having to pay something late and then we go back into not being able to make it through the month!! I am so damn tired of this!! I know I have to come up with a budget and really stick with it. I have to say no to myself and the family on purchases we really don't need. I mean every time the husband and I decide to do something for ourselves like go out to eat or go to the movies it always ends up I regret treating ourselves. I keep these emotions all bundled up inside and it just eats away at me. I hate that I can't go and buy something without having buyer's remorse. Every damn time it happens. I know what I have to do and it takes a lot of work and a lot of no's. I just have to face reality and tackle this demon. I have to come to the realization that we are just not those people where everything works itself out. We are those people who have to pinch each and every penny. I just need to get the husband on board with a budget and let him know that if he works with me we can get out of this debt and live the way he wants. But until then we have to enjoy only the free things and forget golfing, going out to eat, and buying items we really can do with out.